Rainy Days And Mondays

So, I have finally won my battle with Google (meaning, I have remembered my password) so I can finally blog again.

Weighed in yesterday at 108.6. Bit of a gain but I'm to busy trying to fix my "broken" brain at the moment.

Had a really dark morning yesterday. Had to go to work in the morning, but before I left had a minor melt down and went to my very unhappy place.

It's funny you know, well not funny ha ha, but it comes on for no reason and so fast. It's really odd and something I can't explain. I guess unless you've been there it's something you won't quite get.

I have no clue what's happening with the meds yet. They don't seem to be working yet, but they tell me it can take anywhere from 1 month to 12 weeksto kick in. And I'm off to my first councelling session today, so we'll see how that goes.

Till next week....

J

S.O.S

Sooooooooooo, it's been a long time between drinks (well, by drinks of course I mean blogs). I've been slack. Very slack.

It is well and truly apparant to me that I am in no way going to achieve my goal. I'm pretty crushed. I wish I could offer you an explanation as to what the hell went wrong.So I'll give it a crack.

Last week I was diagnosed as having depression. This came after a pretty severe emotinal meltdown and about 7 months of feeling pretty crap about not only myself, but life in general. The doc seems to think I have PND, but not just from bub #2 but residual from the 2 year old. As a result it's all just compunded until I lost it.

I'm making steps in the right direction. I'm taking little white pills every morning and am going to talk to the "right" kind of people. I guess it's just hard to fix your outside while your inside is messed up, and vice versa.

Thanks for your support. I'm going to continue my weight loss journey and will hopefully have lost my 30 by 30 June instead. Hopefully my thought process will shift and I'll be able to see things from a better angle.

In the meantime I will endevour to get back on the blog bandwagon and keep you all updated with not just my weightloss journey but my new journey aswell.

Love J

Oops, I Did It Again.....

So.....Mt brain is mush. I am buggered and blissfully neandering along on my Sunday evening when a good, well actually she's a bit awesome, friend asks me if I've weighed in today....

Well I have. And I have done NOTHING. No up no down.

Now, for those playing along at home, my Thirty in Six is becoming an EPIC FAILURE!! I haven't even lost three kilo's yet. So.....Three months remains....I am gunning for 20kg's. It'll be tight, it'll be hard, but at least that'll be 22 in 6.

Besides if my little Facebook business continues to blossom I won;t have time to eat and I'll be running around like an insane person. That will prove the hubby's weight loss programme correct....His theory to weight loss??

Simple. Starve yourself and run.

J

I Am Mine

So as you are aware, I missed the weigh in last week. I had a MASSIVE trip to and from Sydney to watch my beloved Panthers get ebaten in the NRL and came home with a chest infection. Oh happy day.

This past week has sucked on multiple levels. I spent Monday and Tuesday so crook the hubby had to stay home and help me out. My chest was still awfull by Thursday, but I did manage to get 1km done on the tready before I thoght my lungs were going to explode.

On top of this I'm going through some heavy emotional turmoil which has not put me in the best frame of mind. I have decided, however, this week to use my feelings as fuel. Walk of my stress, frustration, anger and sadness. Burn the negativity away. I need IT as much as I need the extra weight.

Oh yeah....I did weigh in today....110kg. It's a loss.

Watch this space.

J

Still

So last week had it's ups and downs. I had a few diet fails (homemade chocolate mud cake and beer & pizza spring to mind) but I also did treadmill work as well as walking to and from the MIL's and doing a 2.62km walk around the local watering hole.

I did'nt weigh in yesterday as I was still in Sydney and I want to keep weighing in on the same scales.

On I hop this morning......No change! I am actually really happy with that result as I thought a gain was most certainly on the cards.

Until next week....

J

Bittersweet

So it's late in the day (well 5PM feels late to me) and I have one of those headaches where you actually start to wonder if removing a portion of your brain would be, in fact, less painfull then the pounding going on in your head.

So I'm going to keep it short today.

I lost a kilo....Now at 110.5kg's. YAY!!

Didn't crack the 110kg mark. BOO!!!

Watch me go this week.

I have been getting some complements lately so although the numbers aren't looking so grouse, I think my arse is shrinking.

J

Angry

I am pissed off. At the weather. At my country. but most of all, at myself.

The weather sucks. It's hit that really awful time in Canberra where in those last couple of weeks before Spring the weather hits completely rock bottom. Sunny days, with freezing cold winds. And I mean LITERALLY freezing.

My country....Sheesh. Election night last night and I am in a state of disbelief that, in my humble opinion, a complete tosser, namely Tony Abbot may be the new leader of our country. Frigging embarrassment. Not that I necessarily believe that Julia Gillard would be a whole lot better, in fact I'm willing to let you all know that I voted for The Greens, but Tony Abbot?? Oh dear God no!!!

And last but not least myself. I have been on this little quest for nearly two months and I have lost a whopping 1.6kg's. Could I be more pissed off with myself???? No. Could I be more disappointed in myself??? Nope. Am I being to harsh on myself??? Not in my opinion.

Last week I did 5 days on the treadmill, 2km's each go. Thursday I did nothing, admittedly, and Friday I did a thirty minute walk whilst pushing the pram ( I consider this a form of resistance training). So I'm thinking it's probably not my OUTPUT that's the big issue here, must be the INPUT. I need to get my shit together starting right now.

So, in closing it might be more like Twenty in Six now, but that's still a great start on my path. It'd get me well under 100kg's which for me would be awesome.

Please, please, please don;t give up on me just yet. I haven't given up on myself.....yet.

J