The Reason

You meet some people in the course of your life and they change you. Not in big ways so that you would notice, but in those little ways that count. Sometimes you've known them for five minutes, sometimes five years, in my case 25 years.

I don't know how old Joan was when I met her. I was six. She's a bit younger than my mum, so she would have been 30 odd.

Mum and Joan met in the most interesting of places, a psychiatric facility, fondly known a "the loony bin" in our family. Mum was going through an emotional collapse of sorts after her dad parted ways and Joan was depressed. I can't honestly say I remember the first time we met. I didn't visit mum too much when she was in, but her and Joan became best mates and she's been in my life since.

Other than my own weight loss demons Joan is the reason why decided to do Thirty in Six.

Maybe 10 years ago Joan was diagnosed with breast cancer. A hard battle was fought and in true Joan fashion she had decided it was NOT her time and therefore proceeded to kick cancers' arse. Granted she lost her boobs and her hair, but hey, she lived.

Fast forward to February 2008. After having scans the previous November showing all was still clear she was feeling a bit off. Further scans and tests showed multiple tumours in her thigh, sternum, lung and spine. And so, after seven years in remission the cancer cycle started again.

The prognosis right from the start was not good. Bone cancer is notoriously hard treat due to the density of the bone, so we all started to prepare for the worst early. Many times she was given the whole "You've got x amount of time left" and every time she found another reason to give cancer the bird. A grandchild's birth, my mum's 60th, the fact the weather was shitty.

Joan died today. 12.28pm to be exact. And to be honest, and please excuse my french, it fucking sucks.

It's funny you know. I've known for so long that she was going to die that I thought when my time came to write this blog it'd be easier.....Shit, where are my Kleenex??

So I guess with that I'd just like to say thanks Joan. Thank you for being the no bullshit person you were. For not being afraid to mess up every now and then. For always being honest with not just me, but everyone around you. For living your life on YOUR terms and no one elses. And for giving my mum the best friend she has ever, and probably will ever, have.

I only hope that I can be half the person that she was.

And you know what? If she could beat breast cancer once and make it through 2 and a half years when they gave her six months, I can loose thirty frigging kilograms.

Joan, mate, you will be missed, and you will always be loved.

J